Unstable By Design, World Class By Actions

Here we will briefly discuss that  any control sysyem involving humans will be unstable if There is a key principle that is understood my many in the engineering field of control systems.  That is that a feedback control system that has memory in its feedback path will be unstable if the feedback or the input is biased.

If we consider a few examples, it will be clear without the need to demonstrate it mathematically.  Consider:

1. A marriage, where the actions of each and the perceptions of each can differ due to lack of communication.  So imagine Tom and Jane do not communicate well.  Over time they do not see what the other does for them, but they have perfect knowledge of their contributions.  Regardless of who actually does more both have a biased view of reality.   They both feel they give and the other takes.  Over time this bias adds up and they both begin to feel resentful.  If not addressed this eventually grows out of control and leads to divorce.  Clearly here the bias is caused by a lack of thorough communication.  If they had spent more time sharing they would have been more aware of the others actions and any bias would have been reduced.
2. The government-media-voter system where the voter is the feedback through its votes and communication with its representatives.  In this example the media observes everything our government does and reports on it to us.  This puts them in a position of great power and should dictate elevated ethics and morality requirements.  But by showing us as victims more than as aggressors, over time we feel like victims.  Their intention is likely only to optimize ratings.  But by heavily biasing their coverage toward victims we have become jaded an allow atrocities like that perpetrated by Bush, going into Iraq under false pretenses.  Killing 120,00 Iraqis and spending trillions in response to 9/11.  Saddam Hussein was against terrorism and did not allow them to set up camps in his country.  Additionally there was never any credible evidence to support the case for weapons of mass destruction.  Yet we are so jaded by the media we do not see it. But our system has gone unstable.  We must act quickly and decisively if we hope to save our country
3. We will not go into any further examples but any two groups of people who's group affiliation establishes opposing positions can lead to biased viewpoints.  If these people need to agree on something and their bias is strong as it is on gun control.  This becomes an unnecessarily painful process.  

So the key issues are diffusing the fear in the one you are trying to negotiate with.   The best way to do that is to openly lay all your needs and desires on the table with an open and accepting  ear for criticism.  Expect to be challenged.  But do not react, listen and take notes.  And request they give you a list of their needs, desires, and concerns.  Then after everybody understands each other go to lunch with each other with the intention of learning everything you can about the others.  Upon returning from lunch try to ease into the topic of negotiation.  Start by putting together a list of both sides priorities, perhaps you put their items at the top of the initial list or some gesture to show you are genuinely trying  to work with them.  Keep a positive appearance even if they go negative on you.  Lead by example.