Some Observations on What Love Is Not

We know we must love our neighbor. So the first question is who is "thy neighbor."  I have made the assertion that that means all humans, as we are globally connected through technology and our witness is global.  I believe it to mean anyone you interact with.  I hedge in that I do not want to espouse falsehoods, as well as I do not wish to take credit fir God's inspiration.  But I assume any s,all error will be adjusted later, if not what intended.

The next question is how do we love.  What is the definition of love.   Since most seem to get this wrong I am spending the effort to explain the nuisances of Love in great detail. Sometimes in math it is easier to show counter examples, than to show why or how to do something. So here are a list of things that are not love thy neighbor. en it is in your interest to repent and stop any of these behaviors if you are inclined to such behavior.  It is not clear if we as a  people are not aware or we are burying our heads in the sand.   I see these things pervasively throughout our society, culture, and in the church.  If you are not aware of these ideas previously, now you are.  And if you were and ignored th

What Love Is NOT

• Judging, only God knows a man's heart.  1 Samuel 16:7 ...  for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.  So we should never presume to know the heart of a fellow human.
• Controlling, turns people off, and is based on judging, and is actually the root of several other items below.  Trying to control could be supported as a sin through scripture.  But is sufficient to recognize that it is a result of judging.
• Gossiping behind their back, judging.
• Condemning, j udging
• Killing, this stands on its own but other than self defense it is based on Judging.
• Harassing, motivation is based on judging, who are you to decide someones heart. This is pervasive among those who protest abortion clinics.
• Ignoring, disrespect of any kind
• Keeping Secrets, evil works in darkness, depends on motive
• Chastising, who are you to judge
• Gang justice, or social activists like the Occupy are judging
• Promoting Fear, forces out love and Christ.
• Using Fear to motivate, This is a great sin, as you are working to force love from their heart by the use of fear to motivate. It may seem well intentioned, but love cannot coexist with fear. So by putting fear in you force love out. It is the equivalent of stepping on their fingers as they try and pull themselves into the life boat. 
• Love is not browbeating young people into baptism by spouting fear of eternal damnation as a stick to scare them.  The appropriate use of psychology is to learn from our behavior how to motivate.  I learned from a wise Psychologist Dr Timothy Gibian that the proper ratio of carrot to stick for a child is 8 to 1.  So as a parent you should give 8 rewards fir every punishment. I believe this should hold in the attempt to encourage those new to the church to convert.   Fear based control is fleeting,  Love based connections are forever.   
• Jealous, this is the result of fear or envy in the relationship
• Conditional
• Selfish
• Angry
• Vindictive
• Fearful, If you fear you do not love them
• Lust, this is pleasure of the flesh.

For those of you who are parents imagine how you would want others to treat your child and yourself, and simply do that.   Adding your child adds the spirit if gentleness that true love requires.

Keep in mind that Agape love requires a selfless sense of giving with nothing expected in return.  Love without giving is what I called as a child "Like."  But is referred to in the bible as "Phileo" love.
The components of Phileo Love are: Commitment, Communication.
The components of Agape Love are: Commitment, Communication, Giving.
The components of Marital Love are: Commitment, Communication, Giving, Passion(Eros).
The components of Typical Love are: Commitment, Communication, Passion.
The components of Love Thy Neighbor: Communication,  Giving,

is what seems to be the key concept in true love.  In reality we have complete control over our love life ass we generate it  by our actions.  Many have to understand that they cannot control anything outside themselves, except through giving.

This is more apparent as what the goal is has nothing to do with commitment or desiring a deep conversation and connection.  But what is  called for is a giving spirit. One that does not judge even when stacked.  That does not mean you accept anything.  But do not react out of anger.  It is the spirit of no ill will, that everything happens for a reason, Assume God is allowing you too be tested. and act accordingly.  Always assume God is there watching because he is.  Do not fear but feel comforted.